Marriage is the most important and difficult thing in one’s life, so we have to choose our life partner prudently. When I was a little girl, like many other girls, I had dreams of marrying a prince riding a white horse on the green pasture and seek for perfect guy. After I grew up, I realized that it is not likely to happen. As I think of my ideal spouse, many traits and qualities come to my mind. A popular saying goes, "Marriage involves three rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering." Does 'a perfect spouse' really exist? Well, I wouldn't know but for now, these are the attributes I would like in my future husband. Yes.. My future husband.
First of all, I am not looking for "Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome". Character is more important than looks. I cannot deny that I am attracted to good-looking boys, but marrying solely for physical attraction will probably lead to short term pleasure but life-long regret. I have also noticed that handsome boys are often vain and arrogant, which I find most unattractive. One of the main things that I admire in a man is humility. Such a man will not boast about his wealth, intelligence or achievements, but, instead appreciate other people's abilities and achievements. He will also readily admit when he has made a mistake. Such a man would be a joy to live with.
Good communication is the key to any solid relationship, most of all, marriage. I would want my future husband to share his thoughts with me. I want to hear his dreams and to share in his struggles. On the other hand, I will also need someone who will be ready to listen to me, and interested to know what is happening in my life. There should be no secrets between us.
I would also like my future husband is someone who good in religion. I want him to be a good Imam for me and can guide me through my whole life. I want him to had this quality by hoping that our family will be bless by Allah.
Moreover, a financially stable husband can provide for family. This is important as everything must be sufficient in a household for it to run smoothly. On top of that, with the ever-increasing cost of living, both the husband and wife need to be working in order to make ends meet. Hence, in order to reduce financial problems in a family, financially stability is a necessity.
Furthermore, he must be kind, loving, and caring and have great sense of humor. He must be able to care for me in my hour need. Also, I do not want to end up with a boring person. We must be able to look at the lighter side of things so that we can laugh over our problems and be encouraged to work towards overcoming our shortcomings.
He is willing to listen, and learn. I know many men out there whose greatest weakness is this area. Listen to their woman, and learn. I myself, am willing to learn, should there any area in my life needs improvement, provided it won't jeopardize my freedom to still be my real self. Men, naturally, want to be heard and obeyed. It's their nature to lead. However, in marriage, it's a give and take deal. Two become one, not one party dissolve to become only the other more dominant party. There are many times in my marriage life I found that it's impossible for us to understand, compromise or get along with each other if only one party do the talking and the other listening, never switching side. Women need to be heard too, and for men to sit awhile and listen and learn their woman's need is one great way to accomplish this feat. Logically, when men know what women want, and vice versa, wouldn't it be much more easier to please each other? Or at least easier to negotiate?
He knows how to prioritize. Early in marriage, most men would find this one is difficult, and that especially for men who have a very close relationship with his parents (mom, especially) and family. They always forgot that he is now a leader of a brand new family, the one that he started and should be taking care of, above everything else. I need someone who, in his list, puts our little family on top of everything else. Well, wisdom is badly needed here too, since there are other things should be put into consideration too, for sometimes, those on the lower level of the priority ranks may need more urgent attention than the concerns of those on the upper side.
All the attributes I have mentioned are important, but more value and lasting significance is character. What I mean by character is that the person must have kindness, generosity, love and care for others. These qualities are important and make a person complete.
I hope I find such a person in my lifetime.